A week today and I will be at Moorfields and will find out how much my vision has changed in the last 18 months. The last 18 months have flown by and I really can’t believe how quickly it feels that this appointment has come around.
My anxiety is still high about this appointment, nobody wants to hear they have lost vision, or their vision is progressing, it’s devastating and I’m just worrying if this is the case, then I will spend my time worrying about what I can and can’t see even more after my appointment. I still often feel like I am living a nightmare, but I’m aware this is an extreme way of thinking about my situation and that actually whatever happens, I will adapt, and I will be ok. This week has also been very stressful in my personal life, things have happened yet again, that are out of my control that have really added to the worry and stress of my upcoming appointment. I have also had some comments about my vision that have really aggravated me. I really wish people would think before their mouth runs away with them. I would say this is just ignorance, but some of the comments I have received can only be classed as stupidity!
Today I have also reached 28 weeks pregnant ♥️ through all of the heartache Stargardts has given me, I need to remember to stay relaxed as I am growing a little life that is one of the main things (other than my other gorgeous 7-year-old boy) filling me with joy and excitement at the moment. I think I have maybe forgotten how difficult the new born stage can be lol, but at least he will be a much-needed distraction. If he is the same as Harvey, I will only have 10 weeks left of my pregnancy, but I have a feeling this one will stay put for a bit longer, although I don’t know how I can get any bigger so we will see!!
I try and stay as positive as I can whilst living with this disease, but sometimes it is only normal and important to take onboard the sadness you maybe be feeling inside so that you can address it instead of letting it eat you up. I truly do try and accept that unless people are going through this themselves, it’s ok not to fully understand, but people need to remember to be kind and think about how they would feel in another person’s situation and more courteous on how they address your vision loss. Just because I blog about Stargardts, it doesn’t mean people can just bombard me out of the blue with personal questions whilst I am going about my daily life. I have struggled to blog on the run up to my appointment as I haven’t wanted to think about my eyes more than I have been, so I hope once next Friday is out of the way, I will be back on track and writing again. I appreciate everyone who continues to follow me and support me, and I will let you all know how Friday goes 💙 fingers crossed for the best outcome of no progression 🤞🏼!! Have a lovely weekend everyone xx