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Health and Beauty Lifestyle Vision

Behind The Smile

February 17, 2020

“It’s not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes it’s the smile we fake”.

Most people will have heard by now of the tragic death of Caroline Flack ♥️ the woman who seemed to have the perfect life and the brightest smile. We seem to assume that if someone appears happy on the surface and especially on social media, then all must be ok.

It’s so very easy to hide behind a smile, a smile is easy to fake. When people ask, “how are you”, the simplest reply is “ok thank you”. How many of us have done this, when inside we are really holding back the tears? Through my time of having severe anxiety and panic attacks in the past, I have felt that desperation and wondering of how I can go on when I was having several distressing panic attacks daily and then again when I was diagnosed with Stargardts. Without support, which thankfully I had, I can honestly see how things could get too much for someone to bear and how the darkness can take over your thoughts.

Be Kind Text Quote
Be Kind Text Quote

I don’t know what’s happened to society of late, but when someone in the public eye appears vulnerable or makes a mistake like the rest of us do every day, the British media and trolls seem to attack that Person relentlessly. People forget they are a real human being, who has feelings, hopes and dreams, and when someone is feeling vulnerable, those vicious words day in and day out can destroy any ounce of self-worth they ever had.

The sad fact is most of these trolls are brave because they sit behind a keyboard and I guarantee the majority would not say anything to that person they are hounding in real life. I am not a celebrity, but some of the things I have had said to me on social media about my vision loss, is awful, but luckily I am in a good place and I just let it go, but I think these people need to be held accountable for their actions.

The British media also need to take a long, hard look at the way they report and the whole innocent until proven guilty needs to be put into practice and details need to be kept private until someone is charged for their mistake.

My point of this post is just to remind people that kindness really is everything. If you have nothing nice to say, just say nothing at all. Spreading hate and sadness is such a waste of time and can have catastrophic consequences. If you are trolling people because you are unhappy in your own life, please seek help because this behaviour is destructive, and it costs lives. A reminder to everyone else is when you ask a friend how they are and they reply, “Ok thank you”, ask them again and see how they are truly feeling, you may be surprised at their answer ♥️.

For anyone who may need some support x

*Samaritans charity – https://www.samaritans.org

Mind – https://www.mind.org.uk

Anxiety U.K. – https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk

SANE – http://www.sane.org.uk


World Mental Health Day 2018

October 10, 2018

Today was world mental health day. Before my diagnosis of Stargardts, I had struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and borderline agoraphobia on and off since the age of 14. I was no stranger to being somewhere completely safe, but going into a panicked meltdown and feeling absolutely terrified for no reason. I had many years of therapy for this, counselling and muddled on through life not really telling anyone except my mum and husband for fear of people judging me. In February 2015, my wonderful husband went out and got me a dog. I named him Loco the Labrador and he was perfect and from the day he came home he changed my life. He got me out of the house and into the fresh air. The further I walked with him, the more my anxiety lessened. He became my companion when nobody else was home and he became my comfort when out on my own.

me and my dog

My companion, my support, my dog x


A few things happened in the beginning of 2017 that re triggered my anxiety. My niece was born very poorly with a hole in her heart and it had taken its toll on our whole family, so I decided to go for a course of hypnotherapy, which really helped and eased my anxiety no end.

I am so very grateful for the hypnotherapy I had, as a few months after that and out of know where, I was told I was going blind. I can’t even begin to explain to someone not going through vision loss, the mental torture it can create. I also dread to think if I hadn’t of had everything in place at the time of my diagnosis, how debilitating my anxiety would have become. I have reached so many low points with my anxiety to a point I never thought it would ever get better and sometimes I felt like giving up. After my diagnosis, my anxiety was sky high, but after the initial shock wore off, I managed to practice everything I had learnt before it. Mindfulness, breathing exercises, having small goals and things to look forward to, but most of all I found admitting it to people the best thing. Hiding it made everything worse and it only puts pressure on you not to panic. If you tell someone and they don’t seem interested or bothered, tell someone else, there are people out there who will listen, there is help out there, even going to see your GP or contacting MIND, someone is out there to listen to you. My point of this post is I have hit rock bottom before and never thought I would recover, but here I am, with a diagnosis that is very difficult to live with, getting on with things and if I do say so myself, doing it quite well ♥️ never give up, the scary feelings will pass eventually and it’s ok not to be ok, believe in yourself.

Mind Website:




I did this article with Northampton Association for the Blind today for World Mental Health Day. I thought I would share for anyone else dealing with vision loss. The tips I have listed in the article are what help me to cope on a daily basis.



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